Crumble

Nothing seems to matter anymore, all our words have gone to waste. I’m still chained up by our shadow’s law, still shackled by this face.As the walls around our prison crumble, and the outside world comes flooding in.hollow memories of voices rumble,cutting daggers through our skin. Kaleidoscope scenes haunt the weary eyes of revolutionaries on...

Sabotage My Soul

Everyone is waitingbut every day’s the same.Everyone’s debating, but the questions still remain.I cashed in my chips at the first sign of trouble, now I’m running out of room.I found my heart at the bottom of a bottle and then I broke that bottle in two.Will the earth keep on turning, long after we’re all...

Bring it on, 2022.

Image by WordPress Okay, so I may be a touch pessimistic but I refuse to come here and say “next year can only get better” because I started saying that in 2015 after our suicide attempt then in 2016 I broke that mirror & Robin Williams died (for the 1000th time I’m sorry) and it...

Blank

Content Warning ⚠️ discussion of suicide which may be disturbing to some readers. Please decide if it is safe for you to continue & contact lifeline or your local suicide hotline if you are struggling. There is a gun lying at the bottom of the bed as I write this. Sadness wells in my heart...

True Colours

Do you know yourself? Do you trust your memories, your feelings, thoughts and opinions to tell you who you really are? Let’s do a little exercise. If you are a regular reader here I want you to pretend for a minute that you don’t know me at all. I can describe myself by physical appearance...

Zeitgeist

Time falls around me like broken glass, glinting in the sun. Memories reflect off the shards, twisting, turning. I remember you in a warm glow. A laugh, a smile, a red ribbon in your curly blonde hair, you were flying on our hill. Then you were gone again. She met you for the first time...

Learning to Fly

I spoke with a friend today, we were discussing the current lockdown situation and she expressed her frustration at not being able to go to therapy right now and that there was no realistic time frame for when things would go back to normal, if ever. In that moment I realised that I couldn’t remember...

Un Masked

I wear a lot of metaphorical masks, but I can’t wear the face kind. This isn’t because I don’t agree with them, quite the contrary I think they’re an important method of keeping everyone safe through the pandemic. I can’t wear a mask because I have crippling PTSD and even the thought of being asked...

Time Travel & Exploding Trucks

There are a few things that I consider kryptonite to my soul, among them is the feeling of helplessness. I like to be that steely faced guy who can see something going down, turn off emotional responses and sort it the fuck out. Lost your cat? Let’s go find it. Broken arm? I’ll hold it...

Am I lonely?

M commented that she was concerned about my ‘mood’. I asked in what regard and she commented that I had a lot going on and she wondered if I am lonely. I’m not certain if she came to that conclusion, well I have somehow created a head full of people throughout my life… Not sure...